How much history does The History Channel show?

Thanks to dire warnings from the weather prognosticators (who were probably giddy from watching Nemo advance on the East Coast) we battened down the hatches and settled in for a home-bound day or two.  It’s a snowy Sunday here in Minnesota, but not as bad as predictions indicated. Still, it was  a good afternoon to stay in, hang out with each other and watch some TV. (Maybe we were just  warming up for the really good stuff that will come later this evening: Downton Abby and The Walking Dead.) We surfed around, looking for an interesting historical or scientific show. Nothing we found appealed. One thing led to another, and we ended up doing a survey of the programs being broadcast on several of our old favorite channels – Science, TLC and History.

bob’s television dream by Robert Couse-Baker
http://www.flickr.com/photos/29233640@N07/

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I crafted a quick document in which I could categorize and count the hours of all the programming in a one-week period. The Ogre assumed his hunting position on the sofa, armed with the remote. Here’s what we discovered before disappointment and disgust ended our research:

NOTE: Program names are followed by the number of hours shown in the course of the week, including repeats.

The History Channel lineup – 3p FEB 10 through 2:59p FEB 17

Pseudo-Science-based shows:

• America Unearthed

TOTAL = 2 hours

Real-Science-based shows:

• Fire in the Sky = 2
• Comets: Prophets of Doom = 2
• How the Earth was Made = 1
• Mega Disasters = 1
• The Universe = 4

TOTAL = 10 hours

Technology-based shows:

• Modern Marvels

TOTAL = 13 hours

History-based shows:

• Tuskegee Airmen = 1
• The Real West = 1
• Civil War Journal = 1
• Save Our History = 1
• Lost Magic Decoded = 2
• Stories from the Road = 4
• America’s Book of Secrets = 1
• Secret Access = 3
• Beltway Unbuckled = 2
• It’s Good to be President = 1

TOTAL = 17 hours

Late-night infomercials:  
TOTAL = 20 hours

Reality-style shows:

• Pawn Stars = 26
• Axe men = 4
• American Pickers = 26
• Top Gear = 4
• Swamp People = 38
• Big Rig Bounty Hunters = 2
• Sold = 3
• American Restoration = 5
• Only in America (with Larry the Cable Guy) = 2

TOTAL = 106 hours

Yes. The History Channel dedicated more of its programming schedule to BOTH Pawn Stars and American Pickers than it did to all the shows that could be considered historically significant and accurate combined.  And that pales in comparison to the THIRTY-EIGHT hours it devoted to Swamp People. One entire day – from the end of one night’s infomercials to the beginning of the next night’s set – is going to be given over to a marathon  of a show about people who hunt alligators in the  Atchafalaya River Basin swamp in Louisiana.

Just let that set on your heart for a minute.

History 2 – home to my beloved Ancient Aliens – fares surprisingly better. Let’s have a look:

The H2 Channel lineup – 3p FEB 10 through 2:59p FEB 17

Reality-style shows:

• Chasing Mummies (We are basing this categorization on the show’s description, because we haven’t actually watched an episode.)

Total = 6

Late-night infomercials:
Total = 17 hours

Technology-based shows:

• Modern Marvels

Total = 18 hours

Real-Science-based shows:

• Predator X = 2
• Mega Disasters = 6
• How the Earth Was Made = 2
• The Universe  = 8
• Comets: Prophets of Doom = 4
• Underwater Universe = 2
• Siberian Apocalypse = 1

Total = 25 hours

Pseudo-Science-based shows:

• Ancient Aliens  = 18
• America Unearthed = 16
• Conspiracy = 4 (Really more pseudo-history, but still.)
• MonsterQuest  = 4

Total = 42 hours

History-based shows:

• Barbarians 2 = 8
• Breaking Vegas = 4
• Planet Egypt  = 8
• The Real Robinhood = 4
• Who Really Discovered America = 4
• Pirate Island = 4
• Strange Rituals = 4
• Last Stand of the 300 = 4
• Cities of the Underworld  = 2
• Battles BC = 4
• Third Reich:  = 4
• Mankind: Story of All of Us = 4
• Mankind Decoded  = 2
• Shootout  = 2
• Blood Diamonds = 2
• Kennedy Assassination = 2
• 10 Things You Don’t know About  = 1

Total = 63 hours

Much better.

The Learning Channel’s schedule was a staggering 100% realty shows. Including Honey Boo Boo. (With that, I will take my broken heart and move on to better news.)

We were pleasantly surprised to see the The Science Channel is still home to almost entirely science-y shows, though many could be categorized as more techy. The exceptions are: Survivorman, Oddities and An Idiot Abroad. Sadly, we’ve seen most of the episodes of most of the science shows. We have some hope, however, for Into the Universe with Stephen Hawking, which is new to the channel.

As an extra-special bonus, our research revealed that NEXT Sunday, the 17th, The Science Channel will be marathoning Firefly, starting at 8a. It’s may not be science, but it IS great science fiction – I can live with that.