The Paranormal Hotel: FML

So, tonight:

I have a nasty, miserable cold that seems to be peaking. (At least I hope it’s peaking.)

My boss’s mother likes to give me very specific instructions as to the folding order of laundry loads. She expresses this in a lovely, lilting, thick Indian accent, which – try as I might – I have trouble understanding. Which makes me feel like an idiot. (My boss’s wife speaks 3 languages fluently, which makes me feel like even more of an idiot.)

There is a resident who thinks the elevator is filthy. Even though I cleaned it yesterday. He says it’s sticky. It’s not. He told me elevator cleaning is not one of my strengths.

Someone named Roger called. He says one of the housekeepers is selling drugs to the residents … and she’s cheating them! My boss is supposed to do something about it. Otherwise, Roger is going to make sure police patrols become more frequent. He left his telephone number.

And a very drunk, recent divorcé thinks I have real purdy feet. No he didn’t have that accent, but I heard it, just the same. Here’s the funny … I kinda have a thing about feet: I don’t like them. I mean they’re fine and all, but I just don’t like to think about that particular fetish – it leaves me cold. Normally, I don’t judge. Whatever floats your boat, ya know? But I shut him down – or tried to – fast. “Not my thing,” I said. “In fact I kinda don’t like feet.” Here’s the creepy … that didn’t even slow him down. I now know every little thing he wants to do to my feet, in lascivious detail. Thank God it’s not too hard to give a drunk the slip. I ended up hiding in the laundry room until he staggered back to his room.

I called my coworker and asked if he wanted an extra hour or two tonight. He did. I came home early. Now I’m going to go bathe, take some drugs and sleep for a minimum of 12 hours.

I have no idea what image I should use to illustrate this post …

'Fetish Dice' by Aiofe.

… I typed in fetish. That was the second image.

FML at:

paranormal hotel block

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photo credit: Aoife Licensed CC BY-NC 2.0 (Attribution 2.0 Generic)
It has been cropped to square.
NOTE: This post has been re-titled and edited from its original form,
for inclusion on The Paranormal Hotel homepage.


9 Comments on “The Paranormal Hotel: FML”

  1. Hunter Shea says:

    Boy, that is one interesting hotel. Keep noting everything that goes on. You’ll have a great book in no time! 🙂

  2. Anonymous says:

    Kind of funny, dear friend. When you have the idea of a Hotel Job, you immediately think of a large property, all shiny brass and flagstone. A giant gleaming stone front desk with perky people ready to serve you in any manner…and you get the drunks, prostitutes, OCB tenants….and the last thing you really need is another man’s Mother telling you what to do. Time to Google in those three languages, “I am sorry. I am busy.”

  3. Is cleaning elevators ANYBODY’S strong suit? And I’m wondering what appears on the other sides of those fetish dice…

    • I’m telling you that damn elevator IS clean. He’s just crazy. (Can you tell I do not like to be critiqued on my cleaning techniques? 20+ years of being a neat-freak will do that to you, I guess.) As for what’s on the other side? Could be good, but I’d have to black out the “toes” option before I’d be willing to play.

  4. Sharon Day says:

    You forgot the blogger virtual zombie walk event.

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